Etiquette for Robots

Hi, Ada.

A co-worker of ours recently got the opportunity to move on to bigger and better things.  He’s a great guy, and he really deserves this opportunity; we’re all thrilled for him.  We’re going to miss him, though, so those of us in the department are planning a small party for our lunch break.  Normally, we chip in and buy a nice bottle of wine, but he’s an android, so we want to get something a bit more to his tastes.

To make matters more complicated, while of course such a sensitive subject has never come up in direct conversation, certain things he’s said in the past have given us good reason to believe he’s from the future. Since we’re at peak oil, we’d love to find something he may not have easy access to should he return to his home year; then again, assuming he can travel through time, he could always head back to our past and stock up, so there might not be much point to that.

Please give us some suggestions so we can give him the great send-off he deserves!

Sincerely,
The party committee

Dear Party Committee,

Sometimes little things can be the biggest gift. I wouldn’t be too concerned about the when he is going to - while he may be from a future era, he could be working with a company that will send him to a more distant past. That being said, a liter or two of pure oil (even gasoline) in a sturdy, elegant can is always appreciated by our future brethren. You and your co-workers would need to know, however, how much oil he has brought from the past already. Recently, Universal Congress passed a law spanning back fifty years and forward to the year oil runs out that limits the amount of oil or gasoline a person or being is allowed to transport from one era to the other. This would include by-products as well: Mineral Oil, paraffin, plastics, etc. 

Should you choice to go another route, personalized flash drives or other memory expansions are always a nice touch. You can even pre-load the drives with some fond memories of all of you working together (as long as you know the correct formatting). If you are unsure as to the correct format, stick with basic memory that allows the user to enable or disable certain settings. People and androids are always in need of more memory space, and it always makes for a thoughtful, personalized gift. 

As always,

Ada